Peter losing Wendy
2021-09-04 -- 5:34 p.m.

I still miss him. I guess I always will. I think what makes it worse is that I had this crazy idea I could have him. And not in the literal way. I knew (always) we could never be together- our puzzles were not only already pieced but glued to a damn poster board. But I had dreamt up this world where we could exist in each other's lives. I thought it would be him and I sitting at a table next to the other, with our significant others sitting on our other side while we cheers and smile at the room of people we put together. I genuinely thought that the dust would settle and our lives would just beat on, together. As genuine friends who loved each other as children, but decided to grow up. I am delusional- but at least it is a consistent character flaw. It just feels like a part of me is missing with him gone and that sounds so God damn dramatic but it's also just true.

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