spill
2013-12-26 -- 5:04 p.m.

i'm a supervisor at work now and every time someone congratulates me a literally L-O-L, because it is such BULLSHIT.

this christmas was literally the worst one yet. i hate when people tell me i shouldn't complain. i don't care if so many people have it worse than me it doesn't make my complaints or my issues any less valid. ALSO, it would be moronic and i would be an idiot if i wasn't aware that so many people have it worse than me. i am also aware that many people have it better. so, people who say all that shit all the time to everyone should really go suck on some balls so they have something to keep them from speaking.

i leave for france on sunday and i literally have been having little panic attacks on and off since last monday. yesterday i couldn't even enjoy meals because everyone kept bringing the issue up and i would just get so sick at my stomach. my mom who is unsupportive about most of the things i do (lets be honest here) has finally come around. i see so much of myself in her sometimes. i hope that my children have the sense to understand earlier in life that my control issues are purely out of love, as i really think hers are. it has just been over the past few years that i am able to see it. i hope that i love my kids or anything half as much as that woman loves me.

i'm excited for France. we already have adventures to Disneyland Paris, Barcelona, Amsterdam, and Rome planned out. WHAT, it is so surreal to be writing that down. i was so scared to really talk about my excitement for so long because i wondered if it would really happen. but guess what? it really is.

i will miss my puppies so much when i'm gone, that will truly be the hardest part. my perfect little golden babies.

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