where does it go?
2011-04-07 -- 7:16 p.m.

last night i was eating dinner with my boyfriend at a restaurant, sitting at a table faced toward the entrance door. i saw a familiar face, but because of the blare of the afternoon sun it was hard to recognize at first. when it finally registered with me who it was i smiled at the boy i knew so long ago, for such a brief time. when i put my hand up to give a tiny wave i noticed he wasn't smiling back and when i finally looked away, i noticed he didn't. my heart sank a little out of hurt and out of guilt.

although, i know i couldn't have ever hurt this boy as much as every other girl who has dated him ever has, i know that i indeed did. i have been very fortunate to have a lot of good boys enter my life, some i let get closer than others and some i ended up hurting much more. sometimes i can still feel the pangs of guilt when i think too hard or see one of their familiar faces.

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