i didn't know i was so angry until i wrote this.
2011-05-11 -- 10:44 a.m.

i ache, i do. there are these brief moments where i question everything i'm doing. it's not constant, i find a lot of relief in that.

i've been torturing myself all week over this, praise baby jesus i've had finals to concern myself with.

we were sitting on the pool table and when things were quiet, he finally said, "i'm sorry about last fall, sue." we finally talked about last fall, about the summer, about the summer before, and even halloween. i didn't say much, as i never really do. what am i supposed to say?

but you know what i'm tired of hearing? excuses. i have spent my whole life unafraid of going after anything i want. if i have to hear: "you're so different" or "i can just never tell where i stand with you" or "i just felt like i was being led on" one more time in my life, i'm going to vomit. GET THE FUCK OVER YOURSELF. i don't want to hear it! i opened the door TWICE and all you ever did was get to the step, before you turned around and walked the other way, so, guess what? the games been lost, it's over. there are no do overs.

it's a shame in a lot of ways, i could have been really good for you.

next -- previous