even though it's hard to hide, push my feelings all aside
2011-07-25 -- 10:27 p.m.

"i'm just not where everyone else is. i just don't feel like any of us are in the same spots anymore and it makes it so hard to relate. what they want is not what i want at all," i say pouring out such vague details of my current life across from him at the mexican restaurant.

"i know exactly what you're saying. i've been dealing with all of this too. i get it, sue. i really do. i get you," he says.

we never talked about anything, what is there left to say? but he apologized. sincerely, as they always are.

i know how often i eat my own words, but my God i wish you knew how the tug at my heart feels sometimes. because it's something i've never ever been able to begin to explain.

___________________________

i'm not unhappy, even though i feel like i am always fighting against the world: work, my future plans, and relationships (both friendly and romantically). i'm not at all unhappy. that i am thankful for the most.

next -- previous