We share the same soul
2020-11-01 -- 8:43 p.m.

Everyone around me is pregnant or they've just had a baby. It all makes me wonder if I will ever really be a mom. It's so scary to think about having a child and equal parts scary thinking we might not ever actually have one.

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I think about you the most in the fall. Because it's when I really fell in love with you. Cold nights in your grandparents basement playing uno, slapjack, and all the made up games we could come up with. Its when that new jack johnson album felt like it had been written just for us. It's when I finally realized I had to figure out my feelings and broke up with my best friend to figure out if I had feelings for you (my other best friend). It's when you first began tucking my hair behind my ears & always kissing my forehead before you said goodbye. It's when you said, " I can't ask you to shatter your world. But just so you know I'm fine with shattering mine, because this is worth it."

Sometimes words are just words though and maybe everything does happen for a reason- wouldn't it be easier to just believe that? And maybe one day we will both be able to go to sleep and know we won't see the other in our dreams.

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