And I don't feel any different
2022-01-03 -- 2:41 p.m.

This time last year felt a lot more positive. I felt like things would be better, like they were all just within my grasp.

But 2021 was so hard.

So many disappointments.

There is so much to look forward to this year. So many things I can't wait to do and be part of.

But it still feels daunting.

---

I had a small last minute gathering of pals at my house for new year. And it was fun.

We were sitting in a circle and my friend (our friend) said, "Just so you know I was invited to someone else's tonight to." I knew he meant you.

And I asked, "Oh did you tell him you were coming here?"

"No, but he knew."

"You know in a perfect world we would all be together tonight."

He grabbed my knee and said, "I know Sue, but some of us don't know how to act."

And I guess that's true. And I guess that it's also true that I would take back every single part of last year in order to just be in the same room as you.

Every. Fucking. Fucked Up. Second.

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