Just thoughts.
2018-09-06 -- 9:35 p.m.

It’s always been hard loving someone so different from me. Someone who is in their entirety so different from me. The thing that Jason and I have always shared though is our ability to just really, really love people. And honestly- our ability to be loved. There is no one else I would rather have at my side at a party. And when I am alone at one I find myself wishing he were there to be part of the story I am telling or listening too.

But it’s hard sometimes. I am passionate about so many things and it is always in waves. And he never understands, never pushes or challenges me. And it’s hard. Because I need that.

I know he loves me, that he couldn’t survive without me. But sometimes I need him to literally scream that I am why and how exists. Because that’s what I need. I need to be the reason someone exists. I need that passion and that fire and that fight. Sometimes I think I blow up for no reason just so I can push him to a point to see some fire.

But you can’t always have everything. And I don’t think that means a person settles. I think that means a person is realistic and let’s be real I have always been the realist of them all.

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